sengkang; 6.59pm

What makes me happy is just chocolate blended ice with some cute unforgettable songs I hear just b4 I went to paradise 3 weeks back. While waiting for e bus to pop by the interchange berth, I’m in my own world listening to songs of… Not depression but definitely not something good. The decision last night wasn’t a bright one. It took my life, my pillar, my strength away from me. I feel useless and helpless. I should be stronger than this, stronger than feeling fucked and tearing too. The most irony thing now is that I’m standing near a booth all filled with our favorite snacks and childhood stuff and love story is on. Fuck, I just cleared those crystals and they just keep coming down like its bloody free flow. Sounds like a bloody break up, but bloody hell it isn’t. Sounds like he doesn’t love me anymore, but fuck, I know he does. I just feel like it’s Romeo and Juliet now.- just take me away somewhere we can be alone. I can’t help to feel this way. I can’t help to feel fucked. I just worried, my mind is fucked, my heart is fucked, everything I feel is fucked la. When was the last time I felt this? Haha. CLEARLY BLOODY ONE YEAR AND TWO MONTHS AGO and the worst thing is that I’m not going through a break up and I wouldn’t want to imagine what will happen if a break up happens. Great, I’m sitting on my favorite seat with the sounds of life in mono. Thinking about it. My life is in mono right now. I’m thinking what to do, how to move on from here with everything looking so impossible. I’m sorry but I’ve lost faith, I’ve lost security, I’ve lost love, physically. (: I shall let go, own space, I shall be good and not give extra pressure. I won’t think anymore, won’t type this anymore because it’s getting depressing. Maybe, I’ll drink, and get wasted tonight. I still have my girlfriend. (: