Rides

Life has been a ride so far. All I remember now are the countless tearing moments. Why would things turn out this way?! Something from my mind that was incomplete while I was waiting from 5pm to 1am at the heineken bar. 

With strawberry martini with the sounds of Alacran’s Reflejo De Luna, looking at you from a distance, no matter how near, it seems such a far distance. No doubt, hearts are at one, beating together, but somehow, you seem out of reach. Will you fade away like how I wrote your name with martini fluid on the martini glass; close to perfection viscosity? Just like us… so perfect, will we fade away? Something so perfect, so true, so pure, so simple…

I’m older now. Not that I am 20. But I feel that I’ve learn a lot of things from him. Things that I never thought I would do. Decisions that I would not dare to make alone. Though people say I am independent, I realised that I am not when I am with him. There are still a lot of things that I rely on people. Now, though I feel that I am dependent on him, I am glad that I am able to make some important decisions in my life. My life is like going under some transition right now.

I had quite a number of people who called me and msged me after this:

Yes, it happens to be me. Not happens, but it is me. Some people were shocked. Some people said that it’s expected. Some people said that they are happy for me that I am focused with my career. 

Whatever it is, I feel that this is just plainly luck, chance. Simply just the right time. In any case, it isn’t a biggie. I have a lot of things to focus on right now. Whatever it is, it’s my career that I’m focusing on. I should be thankful that my career doesn’t consist only on modeling. Something more, that’s because reality speaks for itself. In modeling, we are only able to walk this down once, and that’s when we are young. In that light, it’s something I enjoy doing, a passion. After enough money, I might be thinking of migrating overseas, stay by some country side, chill with some beer or liquor, looking at my kids running by the backyard. Just a simple life will do. I just wanna get away from this fake, complicated world I am in, full of hungry wolves waiting to pounce on you, no one ever have good intentions. I am getting sick. Everyone is just fake. 

Just last night, I came close to a place that I ever been. A place that was my paradise. It was sweet. Good. Perfect. Really perfect. A cafe at the balcony surrounded by glass panes. At one level lower, there was an outdoor roof garden with lots of nice lights, just plainly romantic. and that roof garden was also surrounded by glass panes, and in the middle of the garden, there was a swimming pool, a chilled out place, for cocktails with the ENTIRE area blasted with Latin Lounge music. Sadly, really sadly, it’s just all a dream for I know I will never get this setting in reality