However, it’s getting mentally draining for 3 weeks now. Things change, people change, and it’s not all the same anymore. Because of negative feelings like jealousy, envy, it just affected the entire team. And everyone got the influence. I feel pulled aside though I have new sisters and brothers. It’s so hard when you try so hard, and when you try even more, people just pull you down further and be so negative about things, and I thought that the step-father shouldn’t be managing the family like that. But apparently, I think he swayed towards words, and he isn’t supportive and understanding at all. How sad.

People, just leave home. Run away and never come back home. The MOTHER and FATHER will build a family sooooo strong. Stronger than ever. Stronger than history.

Reading the status makes me want to laugh. What’s better is the person who wrote this status. Massive joke! Because, it’s just like a pot calling the kettle black. Someone who needs to learn even more, grow even more though she’s a manager. She can’t even manage. OH! I forget, she CAN manage, because she micro-manages! Someone who uses her subordinate’s vocabulary or idioms when she herself do not know how to use them. Someone who doesn’t know what “Earning your stripes” means (FYI: it is used to describe the different level (rank) of service standards) and she used them just because she wants to have the best. She is someone who wants to show her best as well. She spelled job scope as JOB SCOOP!!! And just because she wants to show her best, she placed her subordinate down in correcting her subordinate’s english with her POWDERFUL ENGLAND DICTIONARY OF HERS.

Well, that’s a snippet so far. I am extremely busy right now. I am dealing with loads of issues right now. I will probably write a decent post when everything is over. Till then, take care my readers!

The ride home was kinda weird because we havent got used to it yet. We’re gonna ride now!

The reason why I left AC2 International was because I felt that I had no more challenges or difficulties in my working world with the exception of meeting new people. That explains why I left and joined Resorts World Sentosa. When I stepped in, I told myself, “Welcome to the Corporate World!”, “Welcome to working with idiots who only use hierarchy to press you down but not intelligence!” Especially after my lessons from sevenatenine, or rather Monique Kwok herself. Being an energy giver instead of an energy sucker. I took my lessons that I’ve learnt and brought it over to RWS, especially when I am managing my staff. I swear, no one at the age of 21 could do whatever I am doing. It felt challenging, it felt like nice, and it felt very exciting. Especially when your direct superior is a complete idiot and when he or she doesn’t know how to manage staff. I started to love my staff even more after catching up with Monique Kwok last month. I absorb whatever I could get from her. The 1st thing I said when I saw her was, “Monique, I need you to mind-fuck me!” And she gladly did. She rejuvenated me as I felt that she was my only energy giver. No one could think like her. A person who is a GM by the age of 30 and she is running her own business (just a small outlet) in which it’s earning more than a million annually. It’s great going to her outlet. The energy and vibes from the staff are just amazing and especially from herself.

I came back to RWS more charged up. Better as I can ever get. However, I had a fellow supervisor who I feel that is not even on par with me. I had to work with an energy sucker. I do not mind if he sucks energy out of me, because I know I wouldn’t allow him to. But he is sucking energy out of my staff, that saddens me. Because I used to have a whole bunch of happy and positive staff and now, it has become horrible. The people I am working with aren’t happy and every single day, there are loads of complaints from them. I am going to work mainly because my fellow supervisor, Ashley and the rest of the staff. Right now, I just feel like giving up and you know why? Because he is not up to my level. All he knows is to suck up to the superiors and fuck staff for nothing. He tries to win staff over but it is not working.

I am waiting for certain situations to happen. And if it doesn’t work…

It’s time for the FINAL SHOWDOWN.

But then again, without that pain, I will never fall and I will not be a stronger person. Without that fall, I would not be where I am now and of course, I would not have found someone who always try to work things out with me.

Probably, it’s a blessing in disguise.

I thought that I lost my future because I fell.
But I didn’t, I took a long long time to bounce back, I lost my education but look where I am now? I am in Resorts World, at a management level.

I thought I will never love again.
But I didn’t, I took a long long time to bounce back, I lost confidence but look who I’ve got now? I’ve someone who loves me wholeheartedly and doesn’t even mind when I have unneccessary thoughts about him and other women, someone who supports me in every single way.

I thought I will forget.
But I didn’t, I took a long long time; till this very day. I thought I can forgive and forget, but as years pass, it’s affecting me, I have so much negative feelings. I thought being friends were good, but, the thought and the feelings just overwhelms me when I pass by every Christmas. I realised that I can’t forgive, I can’t forget.

Feelings seems to be feelings of hatred, sourness etc. This is just feelings just because I gave EVERYTHING. Thinking back, I feel like a fool, I feel like an idiot. But I must say, I remembered telling myself 3 years back that if I ever buy a RAOUL shirt for my love. He is mine to keep. Apparently, no matter how much plans I made to buy shirts, it never happens. Probably it’s fate.

And I finally did so in March 2009. 2 shirts for big boy’s birthday.

Sometimes, whenever I feel like randomly buying stuff for him, I will think so hard, about the money I’ve to spend and the savings I will have. Initially, having these thoughts make me hold back and I start questioning myself why. Is it because I do not love him that much? However, I’ve come to terms with it, I’ve learnt to be a thrifty person after meeting him. Something that I always fail to do.

This photo was a beautiful sunrise back in Dec 2006:

Never in my life I thought I would perceive a picture like this as a sunrise beause I love sunsets more.

But now, my perceptions have changed. This picture will always remain as a sunset.
I do not need to watch sunrise with my loved one. Because every morning, when I wake up looking at his face, that’s my sunrise.
I do not need to star gaze with my loved one. Because my star sings me to sleep and I must say, it’s the best voice that ever sing me to sleep.
I do not need kinder buenos, strawberries because he is my supply of the sweetest stuff on earth.

I know I deserve better and I am getting the best I can ever get now.

The weekend is just for us to unwind and feel stress free. However, whenever I am at home in front of my laptop, I will start clearing my work loads and love will always sulk because I brought work back home. HOWEVER, AS LONG AS HE IS GLUED WITH HIS GAMES, he won’t whine.

So right now, I am gonna finish a little bit of work and I will get off to start ironing. I dont have the luxury of having love to iron for me like last week!

Sara is in town! I hope there are enough 7atenine people to come up with a small gathering!
Alright! I will blog when something new pops up!